My name is Amir Abdul Baseer Rashid, I am in the process of writing a book right now called my calling so i will skip alot of details of when i took shahada and many other things and focus within the last year of me coming to sufism and taking bayat with Hazrat Shaykh Abdul Kerim Effendi through his Khalifa Hoja Lokman Effendi.
About a year ago last summer i was at crossroads. I was learning this deen but yet it felt like something was missing. I felt no matter how much i was striving i would still find myself attatched more to this dunya, I could listen to all the lectures i want, i could make salat, i could do many things but i felt the dunya was still ruling in my heart. I did not feel a connection truly in the heart.
I would post a lot of great reminders in hoping these reminders could wake my heart and take heed but it did not work. I was blessed to have good friends Alhamdulillah who would try to help me, I even had others who would praise me and feed my ego. I was a good muslim on the outside for most part in staying with halal and against haraam even though i would slip here or there and ask for forgivness but it was the point my heart was attatched to the dunya, I maybe wasnt out doing things but i felt my heart was dead and eventually it would be a matter of time before i turn.
Around December 2012 i was blessed to meet a friend who was a mureed of Shaykh Muhammad Al-Yaqoubi (Hafidhullah). Me and my friend talked about more life and things but when Shaykh Muhammad Al-Yaqoubi (Hafidhullah) name would come up or about that tariqa my friend would talk in aw and amazement and joy.
For Mawlid back in Janurary i had the honor in actually reciting shadhili poetry and other things for the first time with my friend. It was a amazing time in my life first time doing something as such and i felt peace in my heart, something at that time i hadn't felt in a long time.
Eventually the more i learned about Shaykh Muhammad Al-Yaqoubi (Hafidhullah) the more i was interested in the shadhili tariqa, I begin looking at his lectures on sufism and just life and then i started researching about the "Friends of Allah ta'ala" Awilya. I begin learning about the inner islam, the spiritual islam, the more i learned the more i accepted.
I had always heard sufism was full of nothing but innovation and full of bida'h and shirk. I never was a salafi but had many around me who were. As a newer muslim when i accepted islam 8+ years ago i took some of what they would say as they were more knowledgeable. I always believed in spirituatlity but wasnt sure if it went into islam all the way.
As i learned through videos of Shaykh Muhammad Al-Yaqoubi (Hafidhullah) i begin learning of different tariqas even though i was heavily leaning towards going the shadhili path since i was familiar and had many friends who were on facebook and talked to them on daily basis.
One day back in Feburary 2013 I went to a lecture and it was by Mawlana Shaykh Nazim Al-Haqqani (May Allah ta'ala preserve him and bless him), and started to learn of the Naqshbandi way, I listened to a lecture by Sahibul Saif Shayk Abdul Kerim Effendi and instantly fell in love with his approach, tone and peace and knowledge. I felt a instant connection there.
There was a connection there so i saw a video called Osmanli Naqshbandi zikr, I clicked it and to this day other then listening to the Athan going off it is the most beautiful thing i have heard, Everything that was attatched to dunya just left during that video, I felt love, I felt peace, I felt something i have never felt before in my life. My mouth was moving to a zikr i never even heard before. I found myself sitting there doing dhikr with the video which i am watching for the first time.
After watching that video i strictly started watching naqshbandi youtube videos, lectures, listening to zikrs and after research i found the Osmanli Dergah was based here in the U.S. I felt even happier as it is in my country and not to far from me, just a long car drive.
In May i started watching the live broadcaste of the Osmanli Naqshbandi zikr and sobhets, By mid june before Ramadan i knew this was the way, i knew this was the path, Ever since i started watching videos, listening to zikrs, participating in zikrs over live broadcaste, i felt a change, a change for the better, a change spiritualy in my heart, Now the only thing missing was a guide.
During June, i would call the dergah many times in reference to trying to reach Hoja Lokman Effendi but was unsuccessful as i was always calling at bad time and he is usually there to answer questions even when busy but this was a test of patience. I would continue this act calling a few times a week in praying i could catch him and talk to him all the way to ramadan.
During Ramadan i decided i would focus on myself for a little while, i stopped calling but sent a email letting them know my intentions of bayah. A few days later i recieved a email back saying after Zikr and Sobhet, call as Hoja will be expecting your call and to talk to you.
I would call and talk to Hoja and his voice lit up my day Alhamdulillah, i felt the trust and love there for Shaykh Abdul Kerim Effendi and Him. I felt the peace that comes off of him. I also felt the command style voice that Shaykh Abdul Kerim had through him as well.
SubhanAllah,clearly and beautifully explained the process, SubhanAllah got goosebumps while reading it, its inspiring and heart touching. I'm proud and glad that I have a elder brother like you! :')
ReplyDeleteThank you sister Muntaha Shaikh for your kind words, This way is beautiful Alhamdulillah, I feel at peace in the heart for first time in years.
DeleteMashAllah! Beautiful
ReplyDelete